The Wonder Springs Chronicle

Persons with common sense need not apply

11 August 2010

Volume 12, Issue 32

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Our new Wonder Springs Intelligence email address just received a memo from an undisclosed source that said that there is going to be a Top Secret shakeup of all federal government agencies and departments. This will include the White House and Defense Department, as well as Congress and the Federal Reserve. Accompanying this Top Secret document was a draft of a help wanted advertisement that will run later this month in leading newspapers and other established media outlets.

Uncle Sam needs your help! As you know things are not going like we hoped here at the zenith of human enlightenment, so we are going to reorganize the totality of the Federal Government to better serve the needs of the American People. In that illumination we are currently seeking the smartest and the brightest from across the nation to help us create this positive change. Accepted applicants must demonstrate that the potential hireling be a team player with unquestioning loyalty to failed ideas of the progressive era. Formal education from the top universities is required, extensive professorial experience at the same — a definite plus. Those hired will not have any tangible human leadership or management skills, but possess oratory skills to pontificate about things they know nothing about ad infinitum-nauseam. Special Note: Those persons with possessing something once called common sense — need not apply. Except for that, Your United States Government is an equal opportunity employer.

Hallelujah! Soon, and very soon we are going to change the country and the world. Now there will be those detractors out there that say this employment opportunity will not exist once the Republicans take back both the house and the senate in the November midterm elections. However our anonymous Top Secret source has indicated that this employment advertisement passed muster with the Republican Party establishment, which signifies the whole of the nation’s political class are on board with this extensive governmental restructuring.

Of course the management here at Wonder Springs is concerned that nothing at all will change due to this restructuring of the status quo. We question if in fact this restructuring is nothing but a form of a noise-generating attempt to keep the American people in their current mushroom status? (Maintain the people in the dark and feed them horse manure.)

Thankfully for over a year now we have heard the president say that we are “back from the brink” economically. So the major question that no one seems to be asking, “Are we still just peering into the chasm or have we changed directions and headed across what looks to be a endless barren plateau?”

When the Federal Open Market Committee met behind closed doors yesterday, the issued statement seemed to say we are on the plateau, but there might be a cliff ahead, they really don’t know, but if we do come to a cliff they will try to save us from the brink again, but they really don’t know what they will do, because they have tried this all before. So in the meantime the FED will continue to roll their invested profits back into monetizing the debt with housing securities.

I feel so relieved that as soon as the government gets all these new hires, we will be able to finally quantitate this ad infinitum-nauseam information in the context of a developing human personality disorder.

No matter how you spin the economic news, the FED does not know what is happening, neither does anyone else, and that is especially true of those working for the government. Thankfully our Top Secret leak gives us hope, that once the new hires are up to speed, we will truly have a basis for again trusting our government.

I realize that what is currently happening in the economy is beyond the intellect of all the enlightened elite, but it really isn’t rocket science either. The funny thing is that while everyone talks ad infinitum-nauseam about jobs, no one seems to believe that any part of government knows how to make the jobs theme work. That is true especially within the political parties of Tweedledum and Tweedledee.

Perhaps understanding that we have allowed laissez-faire enterprise — government to destroy America’s wealth producing potential over the last generation would be a start. Then we could see that entropy means that things degrade without the application of some intelligent design to alter the inevitable. What common sense indicates, in natural law scientific terms, is that thermodynamics is a cruel taskmaster.

So somewhere along the freeway to the brink, the all wise came up with a really-really great plan. That plan stated essentially that since we really were no longer creating new wealth by inventing anything, we could be really-really innovative and allow all of our things to be made globally where we could essentially employ a lot of people, and pay them like cheap machines, to make our stuff for us. Then what we would do is just buy the stuff and everyone would be happy forever. To make it all work the American nation would become the world’s financiers, we would create the money in the form of ex nihilo debt and export that debt to the world.

Then all Americans could live in big prosperous cities and turn the countryside into a large wilderness park, where we could visit a few times a year. We would all live in nice suburban houses and buy everything we could ever desire with our credit card. It would all work so well if we would turn off our understanding of common sense and believe what our government told us, to go out and spend, and through advertising, buy stuff that makes us feel nihilistic as our form of personal security.

Therefore in a few decades of faux prosperity we marched slowly, but steadily toward a real brink. That is of course Obama-speak, for many of us thought that it wasn’t really a brink, or a cliff at all, just a deep valley of our own creation. But sacré bleu whatever — we have been saved from a total collapse of an unsustainable economy. Now all we need to do is make the unsustainable economy all better again. We will do this by simply revamping what we didn’t do before; of course this time we will do it better. We have learned our lesson. That lesson is if Ayn Frank didn’t work, we will give redistribution of wealth a shot. Now that is an ad infinitum-nauseam plan if I ever heard of one.

The problem is common sense says we should try something a little different. We could use either our truly creative talents and either innovate greatly or invent a totally new means of human enterprise. After all when you put the twentieth century in a total context, we really didn’t do that well at anything other than the accumulation of stuff.

Create something new? Hum? We could create something new utilizing all the great minds in Washington DC and New York City. Then we could infuse that creative spirit with all the great thinkers from our foremost universities. That should work; we have so much greatness that if we all came together there is nothing that we can’t achieve. That sounds so good, I think I used that context earlier this week.

Actually I do have a number of better plans:

Send Barack Obama on a three-month sabbatical to a remote fishing camp in Southeast Alaska.
Send Ben Bernanke on a three-month sabbatical to a Wyoming cattle ranch.
Send Harry Reid back to Searchlight and Nancy Pelosi back to San Francisco permanently.
We could leave Joe Biden in charge until Obama returns, for as funny as it sounds, Joe tells his perception of the truth more than any other established Washington politician. If it all works out maybe we could run Joe for president, and inline with current news, Hillary could become vice president.
We could have Michelle enlist the resources of Oprah and working together and with the help of countless others, they could see to it that everyone in the good old USA would have their very own cake to eat.
I suppose I should have some plans for the Republicans after their coming victory in the November elections, but Obama is right on this one, they really have no twenty-first century ideas either. Both the Democrats and the Republicans have been weighed in the balance and found to be lightweights.
Finally I could hope that the churches of America would again proclaim a gospel of Jesus Christ’s propitiatory death and resurrection from the dead, as the only true hope of humanity and put away other foolish endeavors. A result of that would be that New Yorkers would not have to protest a mosque near Ground Zero, the whole idea would then find the proper context to Muslims, and they would move their mosque and cultural center elsewhere.

Well seriously, I think points 1, 2, 3 and 7 have potential, because they are truly interlinked. The other points are included because in the serious times in which we live, humor is one of the gifts of God’s common grace that allows us to not get so worried about the brinks, that we forget that the sun rises and sets everyday, and life itself is a gift beyond measure.

What is that linkage of those four points? Natural law not only created the universe, it keeps it operating so that life can be possible. Also natural laws give us a basic understanding of how human common sense can give us insights into how our world should work, if we get our own theology of human personal glory expunged from the common world or society.

The founders of the American Republic understood is that Nature’s God has created many more natural laws than human understanding can cognitively comprehend. The applications or indicative imperatives of those natural laws are the basis of our inalienable rights. To the extent we are forced to live within the world of those natural laws, they slowly infuse our being with what is generally known as common sense.

Just as nature is the root of our common sense, man’s theology of personal glory quenches that ability. Hence the mess we have created, and more importantly the vanity attached to our inability to fix the mess, means no matter how hard we use the accumulated human knowledge we have created, we are incapable to move the brink. This is not a new thing unique to our twenty-first century global economy, it is as old as time. The Bible’s Old Testament is full of true examples of these messes and the outcomes.

The reason to send Barack Obama to Alaska and Ben Bernanke to Wyoming, is simply to begin a slow and genteel process by which they can begin to put their book learnin’ in the proper context of natural laws and human inalienable rights. Three months provides just an introductory immersion.

So putting our present un-unique situation in historic context, the superiority of natural law is working its wonder on all our contemporary societies and as a consequence common sense will again become a valuable human attribute and not some vestigial myth from our primitive hunter and gatherer ancestors, millions of years ago.

The reality of our present situation, here in the United States, is that we have not yet reached the bottom. And truly the bottom is just slightly deeper than we are willing to make it. That bottoming process will be slow and gradual, not because we do not deserve to fall off the brink, but because the grace of God is such that he is slow to anger, and full of second chances to allow us to make the right choice.

So far we see no desire for us to accept this redemption coming from our political class of leaders. Therefore the bottom is only as deep a valley as that arrogance is willing to take us. In the Old Testament Sodom and Gomorrah are situated in the Dead Sea Valley. The shoreline of the Dead Sea is 1355 feet below sea level (413 meters). Our Death Valley here in the United States and the natural home of Wonder Springs is 282 feet below sea level (86 meters). Death Valley is only the eighth deepest depression on earth where as the Dead Sea is the deepest. So should that provide us with hope?

Truly hope is provided by the awakening, in the common sense genre, through the American people, who are essentially rediscovering their common sense roots, which was responsible for making the United States the greatest nation in history. Will that greatness be restored? That is not dependent upon our works, or how you may define them.

That redux will be determined by the grace of God alone. If our hope for any other solution is based on change we can believe in, that hope will lead to human depravation and misery. Those who have common sense understand that, and that will be the driving factor as we proceed forward toward the redux rendezvous of the United States, which will become our best and most lasting export.