The Wonder Springs Chronicle

God, if you’re real?

9 December 2009

Volume 11, Issue 48

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“God if you are real? ? ?”

This is probably the most common question formulated by people in all sorts of difficult situations, from all sorts of backgrounds, from almost everywhere on earth.

Many times this inquiry is veiled in the bait and switch concept of if – then. Such as the famous, “God if you save me from this storm then I will go into the monastery and become a monk.” Without such a God induced provocation Martin Luther may have ended up as a lawyer, or even a simple coal miner.

Many times the situation appears so difficult that the “and then” is not required. This is probably a wiser course of action, at least from the theological point of view. It does seem more than vain however, if you are about to meet your Maker to try to set up a paradigm in which your bargaining with God will somehow stop the storm.

It is also very interesting that in true survival situations, all the survivors of the situation share one common attribute, regardless of social position, wealth, religion, or other criteria. That common hallmark of all survivors is that they prayed.

This week and until the new year we will focus upon what is many times called testimonies of God’s provision in times of need and how those difficult situations help us to grow beyond the self-centered consumer that our society seems to demand. As pointed out in the Chronicle post on Friday, even though we are told that economic recovery is just rising over the horizon there are a lot of people now facing real life circumstances that were future nightmares just a year ago. In many of these now real situations your world security has crumbled around you, your friends treat you like you are an incurable disease, and creditor sharks think they smell blood in the water, your blood.

So this week we will share with you two real “God if you are real” stories. I was involved in both of these stories first hand, so I know they are both trustworthy accounts. In fact, the second account describes how I had the opportunity to leave a good job in corporate America and now find myself with the opportunity to share the knowledge and wisdom I have learned over the years since that fateful day, as God has proved His reality.

It was at least a dozen years ago, probably more. I had been invited to a Christmas party, which was to be also sort of a reunion for a church singles group I had been a member, after I had returned to church as a regular attendee and as my life was slowly coming back together after some very difficult times. Not that many years before this party, this group had been held up as pretty much the best singles group in that particular regional section of the church denomination, because we did things together pretty much as brother and sisters in Christ rather than some sort of Christian dating service.

That began to come apart as the senior pastor of the church retired and he was replaced by a young whiz-pastor, who was determined to adopt then developing church growth principles, to add to his fame. His micro-management style soon had the group disbanding as we all searched for other church homes and ministry opportunities.

Part of the emphasis on attending this Christmas party was that one of the former members who had moved a great distance away was making a special effort to attend, even though we all knew it was a hardship to return to Seattle for just and evening. Genevon was her name and we were told that she just wanted to thank us for helping turn her life around.

As we talked about her return we all thought that was cool, but a trip to share a meal, sing some carols, everyone wearing sweaters, in a room full of candles, conversing with old friends, was a nice idea, but the whole life changing experience thing seem just a wee bit over the top.

I really like somewhat formal Christmas parties where the emphasis really is on Christmas. I still recall attending Christmas parties with the Mormons in Germany, because there really was not what you could call another Christian community in the more traditional sense for soldiers in Augsburg, of all places. Pretty much everyone knew I was not one of them, but it really didn’t seem to matter, for it was Christmas after all.

Anyway this singles reunion party was really a grand time. Lots of good food, way too many sweets, candle light, Christmas carols, which all tended to dispel all the tensions of life as I settled into a big overstuffed chair. Life is good.

What follows is my remembrance of what happened next as Genevon began her testimony. I have tried to put these thoughts within quotations, but they really are just my memory of what actually happened that evening long ago.

“I’m so happy to see all of you again, you all mean so much to me. I came all this way back to Seattle for this party so that I could thank you for saving my life.

“Some of you know that when I was in Seattle I was on active duty with the Navy. During this time I was quite isolated from all my previous life experiences and over time I began to wonder if life was really worth living. I grew up in church so I figured that perhaps that was the place to start, so I began visiting various churches to see if that would help. It seemed to make matters worse. I visited your church one Sunday, hoping that it might help my depression and the service didn’t really seem to help at all.

“That Monday evening things were very bad. I had been given a pistol and ammunition with my job in the Navy so that if I were called into work, for security reasons I would be armed when I actually got there. As I sat in my apartment I took out the gun and loaded a round into the chamber. I sat there trying to work up enough nerve to pull the trigger. As I was getting close to having the will to take my own life, I offered up a final prayer something like, ‘God if you are real show me?’

“I had just finished that thought, when there was a knock at my door. My first thought was, why should I answer, I’m finally to the point where I can end my life. Then when they knocked again I finally decided to answer the door, after all my mind was pretty much made up and so a little delay really wouldn’t make any difference, so I put my gun back in the drawer and went to the door.

“It turned out to be a group from your church following up on the card I had filled out on Sunday. I didn’t tell them I was about to kill myself, but they just stayed and talked with me. Over that evening I began to realize that I really was not alone, but God had also directly showed me that He really was real and my life really had a purpose.

“So I went back to your church and became a part of your singles group and overtime the depression left me entirely and now I am happy to be alive. I moved back to more familiar territory when my time on active duty was over, but I just wanted to make this special trip up here to tell you what you all have meant in my life. Thank you all so very much for saving my life and giving me a reason for living.

Thankfully I was sitting in that big over stuffed chair, because as Genevon’s story began to unfold I needed that firm comfortable support, for you see I was the person leading that group that knocked on Genevon’s door that fateful Monday night. Until I heard her story, I had no idea that this particular visit was any different than the many other follow-up visits we did each and every Monday evening.

I recalled we both had a Lutheran church link in our younger days, and those discussions took pretty much the time allotted for our weekly visit. But the potential for suicide or even depression was not even a thought that had entered my mind until I had been comfortably seated in that big comfortable chair. It was also obvious that Genevon had other more important things on her mind that fateful evening than who was in the visitation group.

Furthermore, the Monday group I led sort of played a game with the cards we took out on our visits. Before we went up to the door we tried to use the name and address to guess what type of person we would be meeting, if that person was even there. Needless to say we had guessed that Genevon was an old grandmother type, who was just church shopping to add some spice to her boring life. How wrong we were, and how humbling was the experience learned at that unique Christmas party.

Sparing you the details of how it all developed my “God if you are real,” experience was pretty much at the other end of the spectrum. Which just goes to show that the real God forces us to take Him seriously, and our own situations much more lightly than they seem to us at the time.

I had recently left my corporate job where you were expected to walk on water pretty much all the time and anywhere. The new job was with one of the world’s largest engineering consulting firms. In the interviewing process they told me that this probably would be the last job I would need to find before I retired. The concept of a little rest to help integrate my personal life with my business life I thought was a smart move, especially with the large raise that they offered me.

Soon after a time where I learned the capacity of what the firm had to offer, I was told to prepare a presentation on where my experience in the then rapidly developing hazardous waste business could be utilized to help the firm develop a company wide hazardous waste section. To that end that presentation would be to the area managing partner, the local office manager, and my immediate supervisor.

In my previous job, we had been the Northwest leader, including British Columbia and Alberta in all phases of hazardous waste treatment, disposal, and associated services and were working diligently to broaden those services nationally. As I outlined these various services I mentioned that our margins (meaning pretax revenues) on this service was this, and this other service was that, and there was opportunity for the consulting firm to fit into this niche, which would have this particular margin.

Much later, I had to admit by this time I was beginning to wonder how well I would actually fit in this lay back waiting to retire firm, which really only brings “we are really smart” to the negotiating and business developmental table.

Anyway after I finished my presentation, I asked if there were any questions. After answering some very insightful questions from the other participants, the local office manager asked the stunningly shocking question to me, “That was a very good presentation Jerry, but what’s a margin?” I thought you have got to be kidding me? This question comes from the office manager responsible for about one hundred highly skilled engineers and technicians.

After answering his margin question, that pretty much killed any other questions. So I returned to my office, closed the door and prayed silently, “God, if you are real get me out of here. For if I have to stay here until I am old enough to retire, I will die of boredom long before I even reach middle age?”

This meeting was in early March, by late April I was sitting in the local unemployment office collecting my first real unemployment check. As I have learned in recent months, this was the time in the early 1980s to which our recent unemployment benchmarks are compared. During that time I was looking for a job, my pile of actual rejection letters I saved reached well over an inch. The only potential jobs offered me, were tied to be willing to relocate either to Houston, Texas, or Long Beach, California.

These really were not job offers, but only if you are willing to relocate, we might be willing to consider you for employment. Both places were/are on my bottom ten places I would/could ever live. I definitely knew these times were bad, but because the previous unemployment rate was higher than it was at the beginning of this Great Recession, I never realized just how bad times really were.

In these passing years, I have never had to worry about being bored any more. There have been countless times where I have become deeply frustrated by not having any real money to develop the business opportunities that are present, even in this Great Recession. But then again I currently don’t have to worry about my world imploding financially upon itself, for that happened long ago, and I am still alive, well, and feel better physically than I had before I had my heart operation in 2003, but that is another God story, that is chronicled here at Wonder Springs.

To close this week’s message, I have tried to come up with a short phrase that describes the current status of the United States specifically and the world in general. That term seems to be that “God Finds Us Revolting.” In other words we are doing everything within our power to eliminate God completely from our lives.

For those who are not highly evolved enough to dismiss God completely, to be relevant with the broader culture, we have dismissed the concept of Almighty God to that of an inhuman subservient being which is supposed to fulfill all our vain desires for prosperity and long life. (If he is unwilling to do that in the way we desire then we will have our governments do it for us.)

Such revolting is not a good thing, but it does seem to say if you are going to be part of God’s side of the revolution, there are reasons for optimism over the long term. As we leave behind the understanding of “faith, hope, and love” as physical forces to be manipulated by humanity and instead understand these big three as God given human attributes which God will use humans to reestablish His authority in the affairs of man. Then it is time to embrace Godly change as our only true hope for the future.